I imagine that I learned at a very young age that people respond well to me when i smile.
So i smile everywhere…in pictures, in the supermarket, walking down the street, in front of my mirror, EVERYWHERE.
Especially in places where i know i will encounter new people who do not know me yet.
I smile in places where there are people who know me but i may not know them yet.
My favorite two moments to smile are anywhere I am presenting a performance and during a yoga class.
Yoga class yields one of my favorite gratifications of the smile because spiritually, it gives me a noticeable uplift that i assume it gives to other people who receive the smile. Smiling through the poses makes me feel like the struggle is in the opposite side of difficult, and it puts my eyes at ease. Sometimes when I smile, I feel the instructor notice me. Now I can’t be sure of this, because at the same time, I am usually within my own moment. But I feel the instructor recognize my smile. And then the instructor says to the class, “Smile everyone”! It’s almost like through my actions I have inspired the instructor to remind people to include what looks so effortless to produce. After all, we are striking all these physically challenging poses yet the easiest pose of all we sometimes forget to exercise. Yes, smiling through yoga class comes natural to me.
However, I must admit that I am still just a smile master in training. My greatest teachers of this ancient practice consist of all the beautiful responders of the smile who have stopped me in my moment to acknowledge it. These people would say, “I like your smile”, or “wow, you look happy today” or “do you know you have a presence about you”, or “you really know how to light up a room”. They might not know exactly why that is and again, I can’t be sure either. But I know that it begins with a simple smile.
All of these comments come from my teachers of all ages–from my 4 year old niece to the 86 year old man who used to bring me yams at the Grove Hall pharmacy that he grew in his garden. I envision their words as lessons in life that contribute to shaping my future experiences and routines. These are simple lessons in understanding how the world will translate our unique body language. My smile is natural and consistent to my body language. But I sometimes smile when I am in turmoil. Like right before I slam my poetry on a really big stage—I am smiling but at the same time I am terrified.
The smile always helps me push past my emotionally charged fears. Being terrified is exhausting, but smiling seems to help—much like it helps me through my yoga practice.
In fact, I am so advanced at smiling through difficult times that often I must tell people who are very close to me that although I am smiling right now, I am not very happy. I had to learn to do this particularly with people who I spend most of my time with so I can effectively ask for help when I need it. Because sometimes, it does not occur to these people that I am in distress unless I tell them what I am experiencing.
In some ways, this is why my poetry is so important to my well being as I continue through my process of becoming. The act of sharing my poetry supplies me with an efficient balance of combining all the linguistic and expressive tools that I need to capably address moments that at some point warranted the creation of the poem. A poem that I felt was important enough to write down, edit, and eventually memorize. Poetry continuously helps me exercise the activity of expressing myself with words. Because in most cases, words are easier for the world to understand than actions. Even actions that appear as effortless as a smile.
