Here are my favorite comments posted the 23rd of September by Ji Hyang
“Iyeoka sang a proverb from Nigeria in her native language, so that it sounded brilliant, then translated it afterwards: she who is being deloused must not get upset, even if her hair is pulled, and related it playfully to her extrication from a relationship. For all of us who are going through the shedding and unmasking process of growth and change, it is a reminder: don’t take anything personally.”
and another from Sandy Kendall:
“…she started learning the language of which her parents speak a dialect–Ishan, or Esan. Old proverbs are helping her learn, and she’s turned them into hypnotic chants and songs. They made up a good portion of last night’s performance, and their rhythms are lodged in my mind though the unfamiliar words escape me. One lesson from the old country?
She who is being deloused
Should not lose her temper
Even when
Her hair is being pulled.
Well, who could argue? But Iyeoka asks, Hmmm, maybe, if we open our minds, the advice can go farther. That last break-up perhaps…?”
So the Esan proverb goes:
Ekele ikolo onan gbe ole iru. She who is being deloused cannot loose her temper, even if her hair is being pulled.
I’ve been asked by several people since then, what relationship were you playfully extricating? I tell them that they all fall into the same category of some untrue, poisonous story following a pattern.
He speaks his pain and confusion clearly. He begins delousing himself with every word of hurt and verbal abuse. He, in fact, with the power of his words, liberates himself from any meaningful moments we could have experienced next.
Sister to Sister Advice: Encourage him to express himself in your mindful attempts to understand where his pain and injustice is coming from.
This process is indeed a valuable technique I learned working at CVS Pharmacy as a community retail pharmacist for 10 years. I cannot lose my temper. When you are behind the bench with a white coat and a CVS Staff Pharmacist name tag, you just cannot lose your temper. Even if the customer is pulling your hair.
-Iyeoka Ivie Okoawo
