Current mood: Heavy.

Due to a relationship pushing a barrier of stuff that drives sadness and rust---

The deep descent of doubt that disintegrates

YEARS of building friendship and foundation together

These are the rough patches I never asked for.

Note to self:

One of the top 10 worst ways to hurt a friend is when the moment resembles an accidental rainstorm. The neglect is unintentional yet demandingly powerful.

The abandon becomes a reoccurring wave of lifting one choice over another.

Nurturing one garden as another grows dry and weak, heavy with weeds.

I want to feel light again.

I need my approaching celebration of a new birthday to be about what God sends.

Be about what that day needs to be reserved for. What love represents…

The thank you’s for another year.

The thank God I’m still here.

The people I find a way to make time for.

The--- I know my life is full of something and today is the most important reason to open that door and remember it…to fight for it!

Today is the most important day to live for it. It’s ok to do it in silent meditation. It’s ok to bring it in with a thousand of your closest friends. It’s ok to bring it in with your mom and dad on the telephone, no matter how far they are across the Atlantic Ocean.

I need 32 to be about where I am 10 years after 22.

Where I want to be 10 years past 42

The numbers will never appropriately serve you.

Your age should never be allowed to define you.

Because dreams are limitless...

There is not enough time and not enough room to linger on the moments in the desert that quietly breaks the heart that is built to remind you how to get lifted.

And I want to feel light again.

Light with friends that feel you’re worth it every single time.

So light they can see through the tears in your eyes that may never physically ever materialize.

I want to feel light again.

The kind of light you feel when the sun is shining on you for no apparent reason.

The kind of light you feel when everyone around you loves you for a reason.

The kind of light you need when the heavy finds you caught off guard and restless to survive the break into the dawn of a new season.